This year I’ll be turning 30 and despite the “you know you’re getting old when” posts and memes I see floating around on my Facebook feed I am feeling rather content with turning 30.
Every now and then I do get slightly paranoid that I am not doing this right. “This” being life. That hidden somewhere in the darkest corner of the universe there is a mysterious handbook called “How to do LIFE the right way” waiting to be open.
A book that would tell me, in the form of an endless checklist of things, what I am supposed to do and achieve by the time I hit a certain age in order to be deemed successful or healthy or even happy by the cruel standards of society.
But I know there is no such book, nor would I want to play by it if there ever was one!
I remember how 20 years old was such an “old age” when I was a little girl and how I believed that by the time I reached 25 I would be married, would have my own house, 3 children, a dog and a thriving career.
Now I can see how those expectations were completely absurd, not necessarily unrealistic but delusional for someone like me but also because the way my life as turned out to be is something I could have never dreamed of and I have enjoyed each bit of it. The good and the not so good.
I’ve fallen in love with the journey of discovering and improving myself one step at the time.
Today, I have a great career or, at least, a great job that makes me happy (I can truly say I really love my job!) and one that pays well enough to give me a certain financial freedom. I don’t have children yet nor do I have a dog or a cat, or any pet for that matter, but I travel whenever I can and experience a lot of new things. I don’t have a house but several places I call home. I am not married either but in a healthy happy committed relationship.
Frankly, I have everything that is right for me at this very moment. Perhaps that is why I feel confident in getting older because the future looks bright.
But something else has helped me approach the next chapter with confidence and enthusiasm. As shallow as it may sound REVAMPING MY WARDROBE as helped me look forward into becoming more of a grown up (I work in the gaming industry and as an artist I’ve learned to cultivate the child in me, I still get excited about Hello Kitty’s jumper)
When a lot of girls explore womanhood through makeup, fashion has always been my “becoming of age” go to way to step into each stage of growing older.
Oddly enough I have never revamped my wardrobe until now. When I turned 20 years old I moved from suburban Paris to suburban London and left my teen clothing behind. So I never had to reflect on my possessions or question it.
In so many ways I bloomed when I experienced life in London. Here, no one bats an eyelid if you wear a tulle skirt with trainers and are simply going to work.
That sentiment played a great part in building my image self-esteem at first and now I know myself enough to be unapologetically who I am.
I would describe my style has a mix of French classics with the added freedom on top. My best fashion advice is to dress the way you feel.
If you’re having a great day and want to celebrate your womanliness and all its sexiness and glory, go for it!
If you’re having a bad day and want to hide under an oversized jumper and drown in a cup of tea, do it!
If you’re feeling like crap after too many drinks the night before and pampering yourself and dress up to kill makes you feel better, Amen to that!
Whatever you do, listen to yourself. Dress up for you and how you feel!
I can easily switch from a sexy body con dress to rocking an 18th-century style dress. I never feel the need to restrict myself.
In fact, fashion for me resembles my love for storytelling. When I dress I become a (visual) character for a day. My personality and who I am don’t change, but I see my clothes as an extension and expression of myself in the moment.
However as I am getting older I have become more conscious about the fashion industry and where I want to spend my money. I am a big fan of Zara, which unfortunately is not a very ethical brand, therefore I’ve been spending more on independent small brands which are locally based and hand craft their own products, or who have good trackable ethical profile for their manufactures.
I’m trying to stick to 3 simple rules:
1– Buy less often.
2- Spend more on quality
(in material as well as the provenance and manufacture of it)
3- Wear what I truly love!
Too often we buy things just because and we end up with tones of stuff we barely use, clothes that are cheaply made and frankly boring. Plus if you are like me, we often end up wearing our favourite pieces over and over again anyway. So why not spend a bit more in something you will love and cherish truly? Something well made that would last and that will make you feel great and perhaps you might even pass it on to your son or daughter later on in life!
So here are some of the brands I’ve been buying from or considering to. These are locally made or with good ethical credentials.
Never Fully Dressed: https://www.neverfullydressed.co.uk/
Laura Ralph Designs: http://www.lauraralph.com/
I had tried the capsule approach, which did not really work for me but the idea gave me the opportunity to rethink what I have and what I wear, so I downsized my wardrobe to My bare necessities. I have tossed away quite a few things that, strictly based on my personality, I find are no longer in phase with who I am and how I see myself as a young woman right now.
I think it is important to understand that what works for me might not work for someone else. I don’t think there is a wrong way to revamp ones wardrobe. In the end it has to work for yourself and your needs.
In conclusion turning 30 feels pretty good and if that means I’m changing for the better and becoming a more conscious human being well, bring on the candles!